PITFALLS TO AVOID IN PARENTING
Text: Genesis 27:41.
MEMORY VERSE: Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest, yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. - Proverb 29:17:
There is a path that leads to success, rules that when followed will result to a specific targeted end in view. Most covenants of God are saddled with conditions. Thus, to raise godly children that will make you proud, there are things to do and pitfalls to avoid. Having considered last week, the ingredients of successful parenting, we will look at those pitfalls that as parents, we must avoid in training and raising up our children.
PITFALLS TO AVOID IN PARENTING- Proverbs 29:15; Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21. As much as parents need to love, care and provide for the needs of their children, it is important to stress that necessary discipline and safeguards must be cautiously put in place. Else, the child will grow up with lopsided development that will set such at disadvantage. Balance emotional development and positive attitude must be ensured in children upbringing. Let us consider some of the pitfalls to avoid as parents:
1. Hostile, Hateful and Unpleasant Home Environment. Psalm 120:5-6; Proverbs 18:19. Love is the medium that produces conducive culture and environment that will bring forth the product from a family. When and where this is lacking, the result is very dismal! This is why most children from polygamous and broken marriages often have a lot of developmental and behavoural problems. Couples must learn to avoid contentions and live in harmony with unity of purpose. This will impart positively on parenting. Psalm 133:1-3. Otherwise, confusion, warring, vagabond and menacing children will become the family lots. Genesis 4:6-10.
2. Overly Demanding, Child Abuse and Nagging Parentage. Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21. A lot of parents ignorantly prepare their children for rebellion, pilfering, depression, and lots of negative behavioural tendencies. These come as a result of lacking necessary insights that prepare the child for the best such as:
(a) Expecting too much from a child not minding the age, understanding and rationality of a child. If and when a three year old child is expected to have mastered all moral domestic demands, with heavy punishment attending all little, little imperfections, fear and insecurity will take over the mind! Poor academic performance, lack of confidence, bedwetting and other negative consequences can emanate.
(b) Every child has right to think, reason and to be understood. Genesis 22:7,8. Abraham did not take Isaac for granted when asking about the lamb for sacrifice. He responded positively: "The Lord will provide". Parents, how do you adequately answer your child puzzles and questions? Always meet the child quest for understanding patiently, not with anger, otherwise, they will be discouraged.
(c) Habitual, excessive nagging and complaint will program and groom a child with negative mind and sully response to life. Nagging mothers will breed stubborn and unappreciative children. Ephesians 4:31; Proverbs 9:13. 3. Overly Protective and Pampering Parentage. Proverbs 29:15. Overprotection is like a plant that grows under shade without good exposure to sunshine, rain and wind. You will not do a child any good when you shield excessively from necessary grooming factors at home, school, church etc. Over-pampered children in most cases will lack the stamina to raise their head and stand in a demanding society. This could be part of Rehoboam’s, son of Solomon problems. 1King.12:8-16. Tendencies, such as laziness, self-will, lousiness, unruly behavior, indecision, aggression, etc are common traits. It is not love to indulge and raise a child at the expense of normal home discipline. Train that child to be responsible and dependable in future to come.
4. Spiritual Lethargy and Lukewarmness. 1Kings 22:52,53. Parents are to be examples and worthy models to children. When the parents lack interest and are cold towards spiritual things, the impact on the children will be damning. Family altar must be lively, instructive and inspiring, faith in God must be practically demonstrated, and holiness on the lips alone will not do! God’s word needs to be applied in deeds, in truth and in service by the parents to have permanent impression on the hearts of their children. John 5:17, 20. Parental religious hypocrisy has been one of the instruments that sink the faith of many growing up children at all ages. You must avoid it!
5. Discipline and Correction with Anger and Bitterness. Proverbs 3:12; Proverbs 12:6-11. Anger and bitterness are works of the flesh! Many parents fail to realize this fact. They make discipline harmful to the child physically and psychologically. The expected end result of correction and change of attitude gets aberrated. Explain to the child reasons for discipline. Teach, instruct, guide and warn regarding consequences of disobedience, dishonesty and disrespectful behaviour before enforcement of punishment. Let the children understand love as a major root, and that it has their personal profit as main goal.
6. Neglect of Necessary Parental Roles. Exodus 2:1-9. Parents have many roles to play in the lives of their children, such as: provisional roles, protective roles, exemplary roles, education, guidance and correctional roles etc. Failure in any of these, can have adverse effects on the child.
7. Lack of Vision, Purpose and Goals for the Family. Proverbs 29:18. Ezekiel 7:26. Without vision, purpose and guiding principle towards specific achievement, opportunities will be lost, resources wasted, and many problems will crop up! Many families go from prophets to counsellors, and to prayer mountains looking for quick fix to problems created due to family aimless living and pursuits. Learn on time to plan your family, to define your destination and prioritise to get there with the best outcome for you and your children. With God, wise plan, prayer and working faith, successful parenting is a possibility. Philippians 3:13. Amen.
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