Download CCBC BS Nov 19.docx
GETTING THE BEST IN MARRIAGE (PART V)
Ruth. 3:1-18, 4:1-13, Hebrews 13:4-16.
To every intending couple, the Word of God through Paul Apostle must be observed and kept as their sure anchor. “Let all things be done decently and in order:” 1 Corinthians 14:40. No genuine and heaven-minded Christian must handle marriage carelessly. It is a stage along the Christian pilgrim journey where maturity and fruit of the Spirit in believers are tested.
A couple of believers often end up being pulled down at some juncture in life what they have taken years to build up: Galatians 2:17-21. They are taken off the spiritual guard by little temptation and carelessness on the pretext that “it doesn’t matter”! Subtly, the adversary plunge them into manipulation, guilt and fear and rub them of good conscience, steadfastness and serviceable life of zeal and honour! 1Timothy 2:19-20.
To avoid unnecessary spiritual crisis at the brink of marriage, determine to “run your race lawfully and honourably” 2Timothy 2:5. 1Cor. 9:24-27
GODLY STEPS FOR MODEST COURTSHIP
1Corinthians 9:24-27. Hebrews 13:4, 17-18. Song of Solomon 8:7-10, 1Corinthians 14:40
In the church, any secret love relationship between unmarried brother and sister without due knowledge and approval of designated pastor in charge with the consent of parent of such individuals are ungodly. Genesis 34:1-5. 1Corinthians 14:40
It is therefore important to understand explicitly what are the right steps to handling cases of true and Godly relationship that will result in a home built on Solid Rock. John 14:6
(1.) Be sure of necessary prerequisites in place or at least on course (see study III) before aiming at planning to settle down in marriage with anyone. Avoid putting the cart before your horse. Proverb 24:27.
(2.) When you have prayed and are sure of God leading, go to your pastor first, share your conviction plainly and with open mind for further admonition and directives. Proverbs 23:22-28; 24:6.
(3.) Note: The Marriage Counselling Unit (MCU) in the church is established under the guidance and wisdom of the Holy Spirit. John 16:12-14.
a. MCU major function is to serve you by producing: guidance, advice, counselling, and in case of excesses or mistakes, correction and help along the way. Esther 2:5-11; Proverbs 15:22-23.
b. They are not to match-make, dictate or deny you unjustly.
c. Factors such as medical test, suitor and responder decision and indecisions, parental consents, etc can sometimes determine the speed of the process.
d. Prayer of faith and cooperation are important from everyone involved. Galatians 5:5.
(4.) The door into courtship opens after parental consent. Both parties must be accompanied by a brother and a sister from the church. This is necessary for needed support and also as a witness of this important event. Genesis 24:50,51,60,61.
(5.) The courtship is not a time to go into the privileges of married life. Not at all! 1 Thessalonians 4:1-7. Rather, it is a time to have good knowledge of each other’s character, growth, maturity, preference and visions. A time to pray, challenge to better attitude and perspectives. A time to read, study, plan and prepare for joyful home ahead. The marriage counselling units can always guide intending couples with information outline of necessary areas to touch at courtship. Luke 14:28-35.
(6.) At courtship time, trust is built. The intending couple become a spectacle to God, Angels, believer and unbeliever Mathew 5:13-16. As a man or woman, your conduct and comportment should be a proof of your faithfulness, loyalty and dependability in the marriage. Remember “courtship impression, will last all through marriage”. To mess up the trust through indecency, sin, fake and hypocrite attitude is to dig the grave of the future home! Philippians 4:8. Holiness, truth and genuine love must be the foundation. 1 Corinthians 13:1-13.
(7.) Christ at the centre of home is the sure anchor. Anything and everything that Christ is not pleased with must be sorted and removed. Galatians 2:20. Courtship provides a time to know individual’s limitations and excesses; a time to adjust personal principles and priorities whereby love and submission to Christ and to one another become the consuming passion. Christ’s love, Christ’s will, Christ’s way, Christ’s wisdom, and His glory the ultimate preoccupation! Thus when the wedding comes, it is a replicate of that of Christ and His church. Ephesians 5:1-33.
NOTE: Courtship duration must be at least six month and not longer than a year before marriage is consummated. This is necessary to allow quality understanding and avoid undue temptation to the intending couples. 1Peter 3:7-9. Amen.
CONGREGATIONAL HYMN